70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
