I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
