I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Two words: blizzard sex
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