If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
