we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
