I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
