i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.