is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
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You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
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I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.