areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
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I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
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threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.