she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
