He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
