could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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