you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
