My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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