yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
