So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
so much tequila, so little girl.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
