is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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