So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
