The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
