The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
