We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
