I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
