Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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