i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
