woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
