Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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