Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
