the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
