I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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