Texts From Last Night

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?

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  (208): i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good? http://tfl.nu/cjn1
  Replies (4) Good night (4118) Bad night (807)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page

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  (513): some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page http://tfl.nu/1sgh
  Replies (37) Good night (990) Bad night (4138)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me

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  (256): He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me http://tfl.nu/nz3h
  Replies (11) Good night (615) Bad night (5255)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.

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  (928): I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera. http://tfl.nu/yx0c
  Replies (36) Good night (10790) Bad night (817)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.

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  (417): My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys. http://tfl.nu/a4t1
  Replies (28) Good night (1115) Bad night (5701)
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  (760): View more from California

  The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.

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  (760): The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper. http://tfl.nu/pbch
  Replies (11) Good night (960) Bad night (6469)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The Swedes wanted a tensome.

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  (832): The Swedes wanted a tensome. http://tfl.nu/8c8i
  Replies (19) Good night (5444) Bad night (938)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.

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  (317): Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace. http://tfl.nu/qgcb
  Replies (8) Good night (1405) Bad night (3092)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.

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  (417): If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug. http://tfl.nu/ibns
  Replies (6) Good night (2228) Bad night (697)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.

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  (610): Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on (484): Who said I was judging? More like congratulating. http://tfl.nu/coiy
  Replies (10) Good night (2162) Bad night (581)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea

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  (651): Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea http://tfl.nu/mdyc
  Replies (14) Good night (795) Bad night (1114)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!

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  (918): It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore! http://tfl.nu/18ia
  Replies (2) Good night (1213) Bad night (407)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."

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  (610): You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would." http://tfl.nu/q6wg
  Replies (0) Good night (652) Bad night (229)
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  (347): View more from New York

  She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.

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  (347): She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty. http://tfl.nu/vxvx
  Replies (0) Good night (305) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?

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  (330): Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex? http://tfl.nu/2s7k
  Replies (8) Good night (303) Bad night (153)

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