I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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