Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol