On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
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you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
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Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON