Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You humped everything and cried in an uber.