Texts From Last Night

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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers

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  (920): Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers http://tfl.nu/3qjt
  Replies (22) Good night (936) Bad night (548)
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  (323): View more from California

  i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Special does not even begin to describe that text.

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  (323): i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet. (918): Special does not even begin to describe that text. http://tfl.nu/d8xn
  Replies (6) Good night (3670) Bad night (1591)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.

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  (715): I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one. http://tfl.nu/ogtf
  Replies (77) Good night (7212) Bad night (1703)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"

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  (919): It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it" http://tfl.nu/8bv4
  Replies (11) Good night (5321) Bad night (963)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.

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  (859): Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me. http://tfl.nu/05qc
  Replies (5) Good night (2506) Bad night (728)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.

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  (520): there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands. http://tfl.nu/q8hf
  Replies (16) Good night (2139) Bad night (1425)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.

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  (618): I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/619k
  Replies (2) Good night (1734) Bad night (838)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?

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  (603): Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night? http://tfl.nu/gcf5
  Replies (9) Good night (1626) Bad night (700)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.

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  (601): Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce. http://tfl.nu/tk1l
  Replies (6) Good night (535) Bad night (2424)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome! 

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  (330): At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!  http://tfl.nu/byi2
  Replies (1) Good night (362) Bad night (1018)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.

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  (516): Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet. http://tfl.nu/uizc
  Replies (16) Good night (2876) Bad night (490)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.

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  (215): It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life. http://tfl.nu/9g4v
  Replies (2) Good night (324) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"

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  (626): Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!" http://tfl.nu/r9i7
  Replies (4) Good night (491) Bad night (315)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.

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  (802): Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night. http://tfl.nu/0una
  Replies (1) Good night (421) Bad night (306)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?

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  (973): Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar? http://tfl.nu/k32t
  Replies (2) Good night (506) Bad night (207)

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