Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.