I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
