who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
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Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
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I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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