Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
