Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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