No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
there is puke in my bra ... again
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
