Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
