OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
