Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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