If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
