everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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