Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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