You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
