I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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