why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
