Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I have post one night stand depression
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