so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
