he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
