Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize