Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
