You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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