What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
i now understand why vodka
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
