i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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