just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
