Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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